Day 2, Dog Walk & Tai Chi day

So, THAT was rewarding at least.  Lately, I could do a giant walk and the next day I would weigh more. But THIS works.  This morning, after walking the dogs with their yellow lab friend, I weighed 179.6.  That's down 3.4 pounds IN A DAY!  Of course that's not sustainable and there was definitely that BM urgency.  But at least I could get a pat on the back for a day spent resisting eating too much.

This morning so far... A large piece of multi-seed toast and a banana.  It felt like too much.  I have a Picky Bar and a Lean Cuisine to eat while I'm at work.  Those are 500 calories together.  So I need to make a plan for supper.

It was a good walk this morning -- 4.5K or so and I closed my exercise ring without telling my watch I was actually exercising, which seems to make it record more exercise.  The dogs were only moderately muddy rather than ridiculously muddy when we got home.  And I had enough oomph left over to wash the visiting Bernerdoodle, who has been throughly slobbered on during her time with us.  Kepler just loves to chew on her ears.  Being a relatively small dog, that whole job took about 10 minutes.  Then it was time for a shower, during which I listen to a Story Corp episode about two guys who were twins and morticians.

I'm on my second sparkling water can so far today.

Tomorrow?  Drop Khione off in Woburn for chemo.  Drive to Waltham to try acupuncture for Duncan. Back to Woburn to pick up Khione.  And then maybe visit a seamstress to have a jean jacket Duncan bought amended in some way... He has ideas.  Without riding, that's practically a light day!  Just have to map out the driving piece so we are in Waltham by 9:30.

My officemate has already eaten lunch.  I'm okay so far.  THAT's interesting.

12:46 PM Managed to wait til now... My frozen dinner is in the microwave.  The thing I'm delaying now is not just eating that Picky Bar while I wait for the frozen dinner to cook.  Because I'm SO immediate feedback... That's not the word... Maybe I meant instant feedback?  Super ADHD, anyway.  Almost done.  3 minutes then stir then 1.5 minutes.  Now that I'm thinking about food, I'm SO -- found it! -- instant gratification!!!

2:27 PM Starting my third can of seltzer... Need to fill my pill box.

4:08 PM Pills sorted!  Almost time for Tai Chi.

8:33 PM Tofu, veggies and rice with sesame seeds and a lovely sauce for supper, preceded by 10 Pringles = 100 calories.  Now I'm trying not to eat any more.  I did some lemon flavor in a glass of ice water and that was lovely.

And now D and I are watching some Mob Psycho 100.   I will try to NOT eat anything.

Meanwhile, John is having vertigo.

Time to try again...

 I'm constantly bombarded with weight loss media... "Try this, try that"... And "it's impossible, you're menopausal, give up now!"

And that's been some of the problem... I did just give up.  And now I'm 183 pounds.  Which is potentially more than I was when 40 weeks pregnant.  I'm lugging around almost 60 extra pounds.  I *could* lose 60 pounds and be astonishingly thinner... And still not the lightest I've ever been.  60 pounds is a lot to contemplate.  One-third of my current weight?  Crikey.  I could talk myself out of trying.

But it's a Monday, so why not give it a go. Challenges?  There is SO much food in the world asking to be eaten!  Yesterday I accidentally made TWO cakes!  And it turned out yummy!  One of them is in the fridge to take to church Wednesday night.

How does one make a cake accidentally?  Well, the recipe called for a bunch of ingredients (as they do)... SOME of them were for the topping.  I went too far and dumped in a whole can of pineapple with juice that was supposed to be part of the topping.  Oops.  So, I ran up to the local market and grabbed another cake mix and more pineapple (so I could actually make the topping), added more eggs and oil, and made two cakes... It came out AMAZING.  And the single batch of topping was enough for both cakes.  It was meant to be a mandarin orange cake, but it became an orange/pineapple cake.  Even better!

I've tried a couple of different magic weight loss supplements.  I gained more weight.  The only thing that has ever worked was write it down.  So this is me.  Writing it down.  BORING.

So far today:

Shakeology with cocoa powder, banana and almond milk

One Picky Bar -- 200 calories, 10g protein.

Are we bored yet?  Yes.

This will jazz things up a bit... Here's my youngest.  He turned 19 on Saturday.

Where will he be in a little over a month?

Another Crikey-worthy thought!  I can't wait for him to BE there, to go to his first class, do his first homework, get his first feedback, and please, God, MAKE HIS FIRST FRIEND.  

In other news... BM status:  Check.  With urgency.  That was quite something.

Lunch plan:  leftover salad.  No protein on it.  Will add dressing.  

Managed to wait to eat lunch until almost 12:30 when I was genuinely hungry.  So much of the time I eat because the food is there and/or because I enjoyed the food. 💚 carbs! 💚 crunchy carbs!  Like, just because I had a giant shakeology shake doesn't mean I'm done -- where's the crunch?  I NEED CRUNCH.  So then something else has to be eaten.

Re-ordered a fridge for D from Home Depot after the first order was cancelled on me and then the fridge was out of stock at that retailer.  

The thing is that NOW I'm bored.  I'm almost done with this salad.  So I'm thinking three granola bar sandwich cookies would be a lovely dessert.  But if I can avoid eating the first one, that'll be the way to go.  I'm telling you this because it's Day ONE.  And I have a serious sugar addiction.  Which means I'm almost as desperate for cake, candy, cookies, cupcakes and ice cream as John Mulaney would have been for drugs.

2:32 PM Still thinking about food.  Managed not to eat anything.  Have started on my vitamins and Rx, etc. with my second can of fizzy water.  Including my first caffeine pill of the day.  Wanting to doze off.

Asked D if he thought a counselor might be a good idea.  He didn't want it to distract him or interfere time-wise with other interactions at school.  The sentiment is good at least.  People enjoy him, if you find the right ones.  A few thousand new ones ought to include SOMEONE who would find him hilarious. 

4:10 PM Almost to the end of the work day.  Still finishing up my supplements.  Have NOT eaten since lunch.  Do not currently know what is for supper.  That will be where this day of moderate eating goes to hell in a hand basket.

8:38 PM Dinner was a cheeseburger with mushrooms, lettuce, tomato and mayo.  I ate one fake chicken nugget when my parents called.  So the dogs got the rest of the chicken nuggets.  Oh, and one bite of hotdog.  After work, we walked the dogs to the field and then down to Millbrook Meadow and then home. Next up, order Duncan a pizza at Firing Up and then proceed to HW to pick up Gillis from the train station there.  

 

Right before bed, I sprinkled a little sugar on some tomato pieces.  THE END of Day 1.

Chinese Epics...

 So, just because I kept forgetting the names of these, and because they are amazing, I'm documenting the names of two Chinese epic TV stories here:

The first one John got me hooked on was The Untamed:

And after I never wanted to see another one because THAT one had my heart and I didn't want to displace it with anything else, then he got me on this one, with the ridiculous name of Handsome Siblings:

Not that either trailer truly represents the shows.

Lenten-Friendly Cabbage Roll Casserole

 Lent has begun and at the beginning, it's always a bit of a challenge to get back into the swing of being vegan all the time.  There's breaks for fish, of course, and shellfish is okay, but John doesn't eat those things, so I need to be prepared for all vegan, all the time...  I headed to Allrecipes for some inspiration... Being the week of St. Patrick's Day, cabbage was SEVEN CENTS/LB at Shaws... Cabbage... Hmmm.

Anything with ground beef is EASY to convert to vegan, so when I found Cabbage Roll Casserole, it sounded easy, made a LOT (leftovers! lunches!), and I could easily switch it from meaty to vegan.  There are pictures...

Shopping:

One head of cabbage

Onions

29 oz. can of tomato sauce OR your favorite jarred sauce

White rice (or rice that will normally cook for 20-30 minutes on the stovetop)

Box of Vegetable Broth (need 28 oz)

Optional bag of shredded carrots

2 bags of vegetarian grounds like Boca, Morning Star or Shaws Organics brand

Instructions:

Preheat oven to 350.

Drizzle a large fry pan with your oil of choice.  I chose avocado oil. Chop one big onion and stir fry with two bags of vegetarian grounds, until you have browned the grounds.  Towards the end of the process, stir in pepper, oregano, basil, garlic powder, etc.  Be generous.  Do what you wish with salt.  Try cayenne pepper and/or red pepper flakes.  I never measure savory spices.  

While that's browning, roughly chop the head of cabbage, and mix it in a LARGE bowl with the 29 oz. can of tomato sauce and 1 cup of rice.  When the grounds are done, pour them into the cabbage mixture and stir that all together.

Spray a lasagna pan with non-stick spray and pour in the cabbage mixture.  Pour the 28 oz. of vegetable broth over the top.  Cover the dish with aluminum foil and bake for an hour.

After an hour, take off the foil and stir.  If you want to add MORE veggies, now is the time to add 2 cups of shredded carrots.  Put the pan back in the oven and bake for another 30-40 minutes until the rice is soft.

In the meantime, I'm going to go make tofu chocolate pudding...  After the hour and a half, the rice was done and the cabbage still had texture.  Definitely a comfort food dish.  

Pictures:

(Including Khione helping me blog this recipe...)

Chariclo is six!!

Chariclo had chemo treatment #13 of 17 yesterday and everything was great... Exam, bloodwork, attitude.  And today she has the pleasure of turning SIX years old.  Which is not nearly old enough to be going through stage V lymphoma, but perhaps you don't call it that any more if she is mostly in remission.  And perhaps she is doing so well because she IS a younger dog.  Next week is a skip week, and the week after that she will have chest x-rays as well as treatment #14.  I'm looking forward to seeing those x-rays.

I took this picture last weekend—she has a wooly bear caterpillar on her head.  So on the occasion of her birthday, I will tell you the story of her name.  When I first learned how sick she really was, one of my first thoughts related to her name and how I would so, SO miss saying it someday and damn John for doing such a good job naming her.

We were puppy hunting and had managed to get on the list for a litter of puppies that would be the I litter.  Oftentimes litters are named in alphabetical order so a puppy from a breeder's first litter would be Starstruck's Alphabet Soup (called "Noodle") and a puppy from the second litter would be Starstruck's Beetlejuice (called "Day-O").  I just made those up.  So this was the I litter.  We have named our dogs after astronomers from Tycho, Galileo and Ptolemy to Bernoulli, Toscanelli and Amanda.  We found an astronomer named Robert Innes, born in Scotland, who eventually established an observatory in South Africa.  There, he discovered the star nearest our sun called Proxima Centauri.  That star is part of the centaur constellation.  And the centaur is called Chiron.  And Chiron?  Well, he married a nymph named... Chariclo.

Now in the end, we didn't get a puppy from that I litter but instead got a puppy from another breeder's S litter.  And based on the weather we drove in to collect that puppy, she should have been called Backcountry's Slip Sliding Away or Backcountry's Snow and Ice, but she is registered as Backcountry's Seeing Stars.

When we were first introducing little Chariclo to the world people wondered what we would call her for short, but there is NO short — you quickly say the first two syllables and sing out the third:[Kare-i-KLO!]. The nearly-17-year-old can say it in one as he invites her front paws up onto his chest for a hug.

Cold Friday

Thank goodness for good old fashioned wired keyboards... I just put my bluetooth one in the waste basket as it was typing multiple letters for most key presses, even after charging and rebooting.  I have a new one on the way and I'm hoping the order of the keys to the left of the space bar is more intuitive than the one I just tossed... I had to paint my Command Key in red nail polish so it would get my attention, and even then I always had to look to see where it was.

Anyway.

It's Friday!  I'll visit a recently widowed friend at 1:30, pick up the kids after school and drop one off at work and the other off at art therapy, then go back to work.  At 4 I'll pick up the one kid from art therapy, grab a dog or two, and head to agility class.  After agility, I'm headed up the line to collect two house guests from Logan Express.  They have an appointment on Monday at MGH to discuss recently discovered lymphoma.

Coincidentally, the 15-year-old also has an appointment at MGH on Monday.  He's part of a study into a phenomenon called Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID).  This is his last follow-up, and completes two years of participation which started with a very long day involving bloodwork, multiple MRIs to observe the brain as it encountered food visually and through smell and taste, and never-ending questionnaires.  He had a follow-up a year later, and this is the last piece.  He won't benefit from the research, but maybe someday we'll see a report on the results of the study.

Because of the OCD and some maturity, it's possible he's added a few more things to his diet while ruling out a few more.  Just yesterday from an article posted to Facebook I learned that there is a high level (parts per million) of some pesticide made by Monsanto in his beloved whole-grain goldfish crackers.  Due to some recent issues with constipation and his own research, the 15-year-old is giving up goldfish crackers (cheese being a contributor to intestinal slow downs).  It's really horrifying how much we don't understand about what we do to ourselves with food... "Organic" is expensive so while there are certain products I get "organic," I don't immediately head that way for everything, and I don't choose organic chocolate sandwich cookies over Oreos... It's easy to imagine that the various challenges my boys have could be related to Monsanto trying to make a buck by trying to help farmers make a buck, while we live underneath a power line that is strong enough to mess with compass needles.

It's really too depressing to dwell on.  Last night the local school had a presentation about vaping.  I went to understand what it was about.  It is thoroughly shocking how vaping flavors are being marketed, although apparently people are trying to get flavors outlawed.  Caramel apple?!  Horrifying to see all the possible chemicals you can get into your body by vaping, besides "just" nicotine, and the nicotine is intensely concentrated.  I'm very aware of the "blessing" of having my kids on devices and at home... The almost-17-year-old spends his money gaming, either with hardware or software.  The 15-year-old doesn't spend money at all!  And I always know where they are because that's just how the days are scheduled.

The almost-17-year-old recently bought a very special lighter.  It was made in the Ukraine from a WW2 bullet of some sort.  He was SO excited to get it that he used it a lifetime's worth on the first day he had it and broke it.  So then he researched all the parts needed to fix it and has it working again.  Why did he need a lighter?  Was he taking up smoking something?  NOPE.  He just wanted it because it was "cool."  Sometimes he likes to burn things (like leaves or a piece of paper) in a controlled fashion.  Mostly, he just sits at his desk and flicks it.

So, it's Friday and I love that it's Friday!  I love, Love, LOVE agility class and I think I'll take Chariclo to class and treat her like a regular dog, other than not jumping full height.  It will make Khione crazy to have to watch her get a turn, which will in turn make Khione's turn even more crazy than usual.  We'll certainly be entertaining.   Then I'll head down Rte 1 and if there's time I might poke around Kohl's.  Dinner for the house guests will either be leftover butternut squash lasagna or a free Domino's pizza, and I'll make homemade fried rice with tofu and veggies for John and me.

We have a visitor dog arriving for a few days — the world's largest dachshund, we call him — he's actually a mix, but the result of collie/bulldog/mini-dachshund turns out to be... Dobby!

Rip van winkle, blog version?

I was suddenly in the mood to write something more than a blurb on Facebook.  No offense to FB, which I love.  It's all in how you use it and set your settings.  But how about a blog entry?  Where IS my blog anyway?  Hmmm... And HERE it is!  Crikey, I haven't been here in a while!

Fall nesting is happening... I'm cleaning the garage.  A classic case of one thing leads to another.  Khione (age 2 1/2) just earned her novice draft dog title and demonstrated quite a lot of willingness to keep going in fine style, so I wanted to have her cart easily accessible and find the weights so we could train for Open (where she'll have to pull 80-90 lbs.)... This morning I took a load of recycling, a big bag of trash, a portable air conditioner and a dehumidifier to the dump.  A tiny bit of rearranging and John should be able to drive his car smoothly into the garage with plenty of room left over to extricate carts as needed.  I've located 44 lbs. of weights so far and there are more under the apartment fridge we can't seem to sell.  However we now have leftover vinyl fence boards that could go under there instead.  Which reminds me that I should really find a home for the vinyl fence boards.

There's something addictive about cleaning things, once you get started.  The problem is that I only START every few years!  I'm talking about basements and garages -- the main part of the house gets cleaned weekly -- no worries!  But I can't wait to get home later and do a bit more.  The bikes need sorting out.  I washed some cover sheets and there are a couple more to do.  Where is the lawn mower supposed to be?  It's NOT going in my cart corner!  But maybe it fits in next to the snow blower.

Chariclo weighed 110 lbs. during her weekly chemo appointment this week!  Apparently she needs to be treated a little less like a sick, dying dog and more like a perfectly healthy and very energetic one! Of course, every time Khione does her "close the door!" trick and gets a cookie, the other two are right there to get their cookies for breathing.  Chariclo turns six next Thursday, November 14, 2019.  She is much too young to be battling stage FIVE lymphoma, but she's doing a damn good job of it.  And I know we are lucky to have her reach age six because her sister has been gone two years already.   "Luck" really feels like a big piece of this life-with-dogs thing -- some people lose their dogs ridiculously young and others live miraculously long.  But when we get THOSE moments — like when all 110 lbs. of Chariclo climbs in my lap in the waiting room at the vet hospital and makes everyone smile — or when I bring her somewhere new to say hello and she bounces in, twirling and spinning and bouncing, clearly the happiest creature anyone will see that day — well, that's why we keep doing it.

And just so we cover all the dogs, Boreas, (age 2), is SO adorable and hasn't bitten anyone in ages.  He loves to get on the couch with a bunch of couch pillows and with his super-cute face, we can't help but just take a cookie over and trade for whatever is in his mouth THIS time and kiss his head and tell him he's a good boy.  Someone on a Bernese FB group asked for help with their boy who was waking up in the middle of the night to lift his leg on their BED.  Amongst other reasons that Boreas is a failed foster is that he NEVER peed in the house!  He may pee on himself (boys!), but he doesn't lift his leg, and he doesn't pee in the house.

After a bunch of really dark weeks with the 15-year-old, factors came together and he's now on a second medication that seems to make a difference.  He still retreats to his room and still talks so no one can understand his point, but the DARK and the GLOOM seem to have lifted just enough to make it all bearable, for himself as well as us.  And hey, how amazing that while going through all of that, he managed to get himself on the honor roll for the first quarter of the 2019-2020 school year?

The nearly 17-year-old has at least managed to PASS everything, first quarter, and even pulled a few GOOD grades.  It's a bit of a holding pattern at the moment.  I found Stoneyfield Farms peach yogurt at Market Basket, and buy all they have when they have it, and he's eating it, so let's call that a huge plus!!

Just a little while longer to work and then I can go  home and deal with home stuff -- more cleaning  in the garage  before John comes home and puts the car  in it....  And the fall cleanup happened in the  yard  so now I need to  put all the fences back up to keep the dogs out of places they shouldn't dig holes...